‘DESTITUTE SIZE ME’ - Day 3 in association with Northern Ireland Community of Refugees and Asylum Seekers

So day three and I am still hanging in there, I have to be honest there were a couple of stages where I thought, ‘well sure if I quit now it won’t look as bad as getting further into the week and then deciding to call it a day’.  But yet again I find myself, sitting, typing words and trying to formulate thoughts.  

Yesterday was tough.  Tough on a number of levels.  

For work yesterday I had a meeting in the city centre - clearly on my budget city centre parking wasn’t an option so I decided I would get the bus one way and then walk to the office after, so I boarded the bus only to discover that the fare for a one way journey almost equaled  as much as the food I had bought the night before for three nights.  Nearly two tenths of a weekly budget on one journey ..... it really isn’t easy is it ...... yet again something I don’t think very much as I drive myself around town in a one year old car which I had thought about trading in for another brand new car a couple of weeks ago.   

Last night I found myself at a friends birthday party ( I felt it would be unfair not to go)  but with no money to spend and not excepting gists from other people I sat there all night without so much as a drink of water.  Now those who know me well will know that I love a party and a night out as much as anyone, and at times, more than most people.  But strip away the cash and the drinks and a night out becomes something entirely different, you begin to watch others enjoying themselves, you see your friends being able to buy themselves drinks and you almost become resentful, angry or even annoyed that they are willing to spend £5 on a drink .... that is half my weekly budget .... One glass of wine in the John Hewitt or I starve .... grim reality.  The question I am left asking myself is, what must it be like to live in the city, walk past all that is going on, people out for a good night, people celebrating, yet constantly to be living a life that allows you to look through the window at others enjoying themselves while you make your way back to the shared accommodation that you are living in for the moment hoping that you can fall asleep on a empty stomach.  

But in the midst of all this I find myself asking deeper theological questions of myself as  I reflect on the experience, is there such a thing as a theology of asylum?  It certainly wasn’t a module or even a single lecture at the college where I trained to be a minister yet the thought doesn’t leave my mind easily.  Matters probably aren’t helped by the fact that this year I have been using Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals for my personal devotions and its focus the past two days has been on Justice and Fear .... ideas and concepts that sit quite happily with my current experience.  Came across this online today and think says more than I could ever do ...... http://www.ctbi.org.uk/pdf_view.php?id=22.  

Reflecting a little of the refugee situation I am reminded of the words of Dolly Parton in Travelin Through 

Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been 

But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end 

I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it 

I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit 

Like a poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song 

I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home 

Where that is no one can tell me, am I doomed to ever roam 

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin'

‘DESTITUTE SIZE ME’ - Day 2 in association with Northern Ireland Community of Refugees and Asylum Seekers

Okay so Day Two of the challenge.  What has happened since yesterday?  Well since the last blog post, JAB made to it Tesco’s to buy some food and managed to only spend a total of £1.83 on dinner and breakfast that should last three days (I’m working out that during the process it might be easier and more cost efficient to focus on two meals rather than three) and a major catastrophe was averted by Gillian Fitch, for when I discovered I had bought all tinned food and had no tin opener she very kindly came to my aid.  So I actually managed to have dinner last night.  I feel that Gillian’s very kind offer doesn't break the rules as we heard yesterday how the asylum and refugee community continually lend each other stuff including food ....... Startling when you think that they have very little for themselves or their own families without then giving it away to others ...... It seems to me that there is something very ‘gospel’ about this - looking after one’s brother or sister and sacrificial giving ... to name a few ideas that immediately spring to mind.  

Though in todays post I wish to share with you, some of the conversations I had yesterday with Refugees and Asylum seekers along with some personal reflection.  

What must it be like for a family who lives on this budget? - Well here are the words of one father .....

‘The baby goes through a lot of nappies and so much so that we can’t afford nappies for her all the time so at night we need to wrap her in a towel and place her on a plastic bag for the night.’ 

Or how do you dress yourself when you have left all your belongings back in the country who ave come from? Again i refer you to the words of one refugee ... 

‘clothes ... we can’t afford clothes ... if you need something there is somewhere you can go and rummage to see if they have something that fits you ... if they do its yours, if not you leave with nothing ... we can’t even shop in charity shops.’ This hit me hard!  As I sat there dressed to the nines and thinking about some other stuff I would like to get for the summer wardrobe.  Stupid really!

Despite the apparent financial hardship, accommodation issues and lack of job prospects, one area I had overlooked was that of mental health - men and women living like this day after day with no real sign of hope 

The strain was evident when one of the men commented, ‘living like this is mental torture’ with that look in his eye that articulated what he was trying to express so  more effectively then his words ever could........

‘How do I think of having a nice meal with these beans as I have been eating them everyday for months.’ 

I really had to stop myself from crying - when I audit the places I have eaten recently and the weekly shop from Marks and Spencer’s - Even on weeks when I was budgeting it was nowhere near as severe as this guys experience.  Yesterday I truly realised how affluent I am ... not just in terms of money, processions but also in terms of family, community and friends .... sometimes it is easy to take these smaller things for granted but your messages of support, encouragement and love has been amazing!   

‘DESTITUTE SIZE ME’ - Day 1 in association with Northern Ireland Community of Refugees and Asylum Seekers

So on Friday I was set the challenge of living this week solely on a £10 Tesco food voucher.  But why I hear you ask?  Well,

In Belfast, in 2012 would you believe that NICRAS is supporting 16 destitute asylum seekers with £10 a week and a small food parcel from NICRAS?....They  have absolutely no access to mainstream benefits, housing,  a G.P and are not allowed to work, to earn enough money to live above the poverty line?

Many of you know that I often talk about how important it is for the Evangelical church to not only preach the gospel but to live it in terms of social justice issues.  So the time has come for me to step up and take one small step myself.  

Shane Claiborne has commented ......

“We do need to be born again, since Jesus said to that guy named Nicodemus.  But if you tell me I have to be born again to enter the kingdom of God, I can tell you that you have to sell everything you have and give it to the poor, because Jesus said that to one guy, too.  But I guess thats why we invented highlighters, so we can highlight the parts we like and ignore the rest.” 

Either we as so called ‘evangelicals’ believe, practice, and live the whole scripture or we at the very essence hypocritical, we can’t pick and chose.  

The original challenge was to live on the £10 voucher though I have added an additional challenge for myself, to fully experience what life is like for those who enter Northern Ireland seeking Asylum, I will also be spending one night sleeping rough on the streets of our city.  

I feel this challenge is one that will be extremely daunting at times, I usually live on around £70 a week, enjoy traveling around in my car and really enjoy the added benefits of city centre living such as the cinema, theatre and gigs (in fact the wine I drink during the week  with dinner comes to more than the total I am allowed to live on for the whole week) .... so I can only imagine what it would be like to loose all of these luxuries.  

In fact I am so far removed from such destitution that I needed to run a spell check on the word ‘asylum’ .... I am sure for those who live this way on a daily basis, they do not need to run a spellcheck, because for them it is a living and breathing reality.

Speaking to an Asylum seeker today the following words, really moved me, living like this, ‘you loose track of what you need but have to put up with what you have...... when you think you are moving forward with your life - you just don’t move.’

So journey with me if you will this week as I seek to try and experience in a small way what life must be like on a daily basis for those who enter our country as Asylum seekers and refugees.